It's funny how things happen... This song actually reminds me of the same person the last song made me think of... But it's so different, and it's replaced Bubbly as his song. A good sing I should think... Maybe I'm not falling... Maybe I've fallen. And by maybe, I have. And I've loved every minute of it...
I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you
Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you.
I’ve seen the paths that your eyes wander down
I want to come too…

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you

No one understands me quite like you do
Through all of the shadowy corners of me

I never knew just what it was
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew…
Ahh…

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you
Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you.
I’ve seen the waters that make your eyes shine
now I’m shining too

Because, oh because
I’ve fallen quite hard over you

If I didn’t know you, I'd rather not know
If I couldn’t have you, I'd rather be alone

I never knew just what it was
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while, I never knew
I never knew just what it was
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while, I never knew

All of the while, All of the while it was you
You…
You…
You…

Perfection. And it feels like my heart is breaking... and I don't know why.

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Okay, so it's been forever since I've done any of this... been awhile since just being on this site reading friends stuff. Not much activity lately, so I don't even really think anyone will see this... which is fine by me. I'm writing for myself, and no one else. Trying to sort out whatever the hell is going on inside my body and mind right now. I feel as if I'm drifting away from myself. I'm in pain, my stomach is cramping... it feels as if someone is squeezing and pulling, various places, mostly concentrated in the ovary and uterus area. I'm getting sick. I couldn't keep down my food today. I cried for no reason on multiple occasions, I felt like I was having an anxiety attack... much like my hormones were out of whack. I'm on the pill... I take it everyday at the same time. I have yet to forget one, or even take one more than 15 minutes late. I'm spotting. I took a pregnancy test. It was negative, thank goodness. I would have run. From myself. I don't know how. I feel so confused right now... about nothing, and about everything all at once. I feel as if nothing is within my control. The only thing that I seem to be able to control is work, and i can't actually control that at all. What i do is dependant on the work of others... but it's the most in control thing I have right now. I just don't know. I'm happy... I have been happy... I'm just lost right now. I need time to figure myself out. i need to figure out where I'm trying to go, and what I want to do with my life. I want to feel secure, i want to feel loved. I want someone to hold me and tell me that I'm not screwing up my entire life. That I'm doing at least just one thing right. I just need to feel like I'll be okay. But no one can know that especially if I don't I just need to hear it...

Last night I went to what I thought was a musical at the NAC, called "Movin' Out"... it actually turned out being a ballet, but not a regular ballet. it was a ballet set to the music of Billy Joel... A ROCK BALLET! It was so amazing. It makes me want to work out a whole bunch and then go take dance. The working out comes firsts only because I'd have to increase my flexibility... which is saying something because I'm pretty flexible... but yeah... As soon as i get rid of this blasted cold I'm getting on it... the cold is going away... Been eating healthy like so that may have something t o do with it... or the fact that I've been getting a lot of sleep... either way... So yeah Today is a deadly day. I work at my club 11-7, and then i have to rush to Queen St. to close the club there (7-10). Brutal!! But yeah I should go get ready for the day i suppose. I realized i hadn't written in here in forever... I had wanted to say something deep and insightful... but my mid is neither deep nor insightful this early in the day.

I got a Day Planner yesterday!!! So Far So Good! Hopefully I can keep it up. I put my cardio in it as well as little reminders about eating. woohoo. Organization, you're in my grasp!!!

OK, the new "cool" thing... Farting on people. Ha-ha... just farted on you. Am I cool yet?

OK, I haven't written in over forever. But I do have an excuse!! Nothing has happened. But, now, things have!! It was my birthday on Friday, woohoo 22! I really enjoy this age so far. Yup that's it...

Today was a terrible day. I bought a Green tea which defied the laws of gravity and spilled on half of my face leaving a nice red burn mark. It's possible that i desrve it though. i can't wwait until tomorrow when October Tenth is done and over with.

Lips of an Angel- Hinder

Honey why you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No, I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why you calling me so late

Ok, so as everyone has probably heard, Steve Irwin (aka the croc. hunter) has passed away due to a sting by a sting ray. It's sad, I know. But how is it that people are saying RIP Steve Irwin, and saying nothing of the four soldiers killed in Afghanistan? What is the world coming to when people feel worse about losing a man that pokes dangerous creatures for amusement, than a group of people with families who are away fighting for freedom?? And it's not just four people we have lost, there are countless numbers we have lost since this war against terrorism has started, I just choose four because it happened around the same time as Steve Irwins death. i'm really upset about this. People don't realize what these people go through to keep us safe. Even non-combat jobs there are highly dangerous. Going from one camp to another and getting fired upon... People should really go get a reality check.

Thursday, August 31, 2006
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
Your thoughts are flying above you through the clouds of your mind. From your position on the ground, you can see them and yet it's challenging to latch on to any one of them and turn the thought into a real dialog. Accept that you may not be quite ready to go public with ideas that others might judge as too far out

Ok, so i haven't updated in awhile... Our neighbors moved, and thus our internet disappeared. I've gotten to a Second Cup with my Laptop, but I had work I had to finish up, so I didn't get a chance to get on here... Ummm, So what has happened? I went to T.Dot.Ooooo this past weekend. Sounds fun, it was, but it was for work. Got nominated for CSR of the year. I didn't win which sucks, but I'm not too broken up about it... It was a shit show sort of weekend though. Everything we went to involved alcohol. I met the owner of the company which was really cool. Ugh, so tired. We came back on Monday. That night I went to Zak's with Scott, had a bite to eat got home and went to bed around 10. Tuesday I had to be up for 4:00AM to open the gym on Queen St. I worked until 10 there, and then went to my gym for 10:30. Got home tuesday night and went to bed fairly early. Got up Wednesday, work 10:30-7:00. All i wanted to do last night was have a movie night, so we did. There was Katherine and myself, as well as Sean, Chris, Christal, Amanda, and Tom. It was fun. Very relaxed. First time I saw Tom after spazzing... Things were good though. I am glad there were people around though. I think we've decided to forget about the whole thing... So yeah... I didn't go to bed until late last night, and here I am at Queen St. at a ridiculus hour in the morning... Again i have to go to my regular shift when I'm done... And Katherine wants to go out tonight. Not sure if I'll be up for it, but i get to sleep in tomorrow because i switched shift's with 'lil Tasha so she can move... Work till 10 on a friday... Boo-urns!!! So that's my past week. Nothing spectacular.

Ok, so my parents stand me up, yet again. That's twice in ONE week. Who does that?! Ugh, I'm at work right now, so I can't get into it because i get all upset and such. I just want to scream and cry and throw things... I want to punch and kick, and just throw a total tantrum. Instead, I'm going to go for a sundae and then get totally drunkkkkkk. So drunk I lose my face.

Well, i haven't posted in awhile... been moving and what-not. Nothing is really new... went to see my parents for the long weekend. Mom was up from BC. The whole weekend seemed to be about telling me how nice BC is in hopes of me moving back there with her. I've never seen parents TRY so HARD to get their 21 yeaar old child to move back home. Most parents are trying to keep them out of the house. And its not that living with my parents was bad or anything, it was great, I love them both very much, but I'm older now and I enjoy living on my own... coming and going when I want, doing what I want, things like that... so i told mom that in a year when my lease is up on this place we'll see what happens, and maybe I'll move then. ugh, ok, i don't really have time for this right now... I'm going to get dressed and stuff so I can rollerblade (woo-hoo!) to work and get in a quick work-out before actually working...

We had our party last night. It was so good. No huge drama. No idiots (We kicked them out early). Only thing broken was actually just pulled down, a curtain to be specific. It had to come down to get packed anyways, so really... We had a good turn out. Not too many people, but enough to keep it going until 3:30 or so... Everyone I've talked to had a pretty good time, and thats what really matters. Our house wasn't too messy this morning... we had sticky floors, but that's to be expected. and lots of bottles and plastic cups... We have so many freezies in our freezer now though... maybe we can give them to the Breast Cancer walk people... Good Plan! Go me!!!

What else happened last night? Oh, there were two guys at the party that I invited that I'm pretty sure now like me... so we'll see what happens there. I don't think I'm ready for anything really yet. But I guess I should try, and if I'm not ready, well, its not the end of the world... Why is it so hard to move on though? I mean, it's been awhile now... and still... Blah. Oh well. There's a reason for everything...

Oh, wow. I just got inside, I went for a walk in the thunderstorm, and there is no other feeling like it in the world.

Being surrounded by that type of power, I get goosebumps just thinking about it. It really is a sexual type of experience. I look terrible, but feel sexy, like just after... yeah... And like those moments after your mind goes into a sort of relaxed overdrive.

It's hard to explain. Questions and feelings, raining down on you, making you look at yourself. I love thunderstorms, but walking in it by myself, I felt lonely. And now afterwards, with the chill setting in I wish I had someone to warm me. To wrap me in their arms, and to just revel in the moment.

But i don't, and so I will wrap myself in my blankets, with my Beep-beep, and my (well, kinda stolen...) beany monkey that has no name...

I changed the look of my journal... I like it... it suits my mood at the moment. I'll probably be sticking with it for awhile.

People are freaking stupid today. Not like, a little stupid, but I can deal with it… I mean like actually moronic stupid. I’m at work, and We had a problem with our photocopier this morning, so Jen called the guy to fix it, and was a prick. Like, there was NO NEED for his attitude… And it’s just been like that all day, and the retarded questions. Ugh… I’m going to pull my hair out.

Hey All! I'm in Peurto Plata right now... And lovin' it! Drinkin is fun. Have a bit pf a cold... done A LOT of thinking... But whatev... I'll have pics, don't worry!

I leave tomorrow!! So excited! I promise tons of pictures, I can't believe I'm going for a week! Sunny-ness here I come!!